the real life, deep stuff that 2017 taught me.
8 of ’em.
1.) Life is what you make it.
Hannah Montana blessed us with real wisdom beyond her years when she told us that life’s what we make it, so let’s make it rock. Our happiness is 100000000000% dependent on ourselves. We have this beautiful mind and a soul and a body and with it we get to create a beautiful life. We have complete agency over our thoughts…. our thoughts influence our words… our words influence our actions… our actions influence our habits… and our habits influence our destiny. I think Ghandi said that.
We get to choose whether to be mad or sad or happy or grateful or grumpy. I know it kinda sounds like bullsh!t but it is very possible to control our own happiness. It takes work and practice… but it’s possible and it’s life changing. We can choose to live in a nightmare or a breathtaking dream. It’s all about perspective.
2.) Gratitude = Happiness.
Happiness always depended on a “when” for me. “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds.” or “I’ll be happy when I make X amount of money.”
When I started to take time out of my morning and list things I was grateful for… I started to feel happier. Go figure! When I was sad, I would tell myself how lucky I was and list specific things I was so lucky to have. and I would thank my Creator.
“Thank you for a smokin hot, super sweet husband.Thank you for my cute cuddly sweet perfect dog. Thank you for ALLLLLL the dogs. Thank you for a job, thank you for a comfy bed. Thank you for shoes and clothes and thank you for a washing machine and clean water, and thank you for the mountains and the snow and sun and the …”
^See, after just writing that I feel like a new woman.
Say “thank you.” more.
3.) Diets don’t work.
this one is pretty self explanatory. Diets never work because you are putting the power outwardly.. to a meal plan or a calorie tracker or another outward source.
The only way to achieve LASTING results is to look within yourself and figure out how to eat like you were meant to.
You don’t see fishes or squirrels walking around like, “hey John, what am I supposed to eat? How much? Won’t this give me cancer?”
4.) Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
I learned to stop taking every little thing someone else says or does personally. This was LIBERATING for a people pleasin’ lunatic like me.
Nothing anyone else does, is because of you. It is because of their own beliefs, upbringings, opinions, insecurities, etc. Literally it has NOTHING to do WITH YOU.
Do not take offense or let other’s actions or words damage you.
This also means that nothing YOU say or do is because of anyone else… it is all because of you and the beliefs and insecurities or pain you have in your life. You are in charge of your own life. They are in charge of theirs.
5.) Your job is NOT to change people, but to love them.
When it comes to our relationships with other human beings on this earth… the most damaging thing you can do is try to change them. You can not force them to change.
“You can bring a horse to water, but you can not make it drink.”
Your mom, your dad, your sister, half brother, BFF, classmates, spouse, lover, ANYONE…. DO NOT try to change them to fit your expectations. In fact, go ahead and drop those MF expectations altogether.
LOVE them. LOVE the h#ck out of them! Accept them. Love them exactly as they are.
I’m not asking you to change yourself for them… I’m just saying that if you want that relationship to flourish and progress… you need to let go of your side of the story and love them with all you’ve got.
6.) When people screw you over, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you.
People can throw some pretty RUDE banana peels at you and make your car spiral out of control on your road to the finish line, am I right?
In the world of Mario Kart, this can cause you to lose the championship race in your sibling tournament, therefore forever dubbing you the official biggest loser of the house… which is impossible to come back from…. but I digress….
In real life, people can really SUCK and throw you off your groove. They can hurt you, lie to you, and disappoint you.
This year, we felt that. We really felt that.
So we have two options:
- whine about it, wallow in self pity, and tell all our friends to unfollow them on instagram.
- learn from it and use it to our advantage.
If we choose the first option, we are only helping them hurt us even more.
Look at it this way: they taught you a valuable lesson that will bring you even closer to success.
7.) How we feed ourselves, is how we talk to ourselves.
This year I healed a lot. After suffering from an eating disorder for a long time, I finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I stopped being scared of food. I stopped having anxiety attacks before I went out to eat with a group of people. I stopped bingeing 4 times a WEEK. I stopped crying when I looked at myself in the mirror. I stopped hating myself.
I healed a lot. It was so nice. and SO much work…. and I’m not completely done. I don’t know if I will ever be 100% better all the time, for the rest of my life…. but that’s ok. I’m ok with the process. I can finally find peace and joy in the journey.
Food is my friend, now. How I eat is how I try to talk to myself… compassionately.
8.) Happiness is not a destination.
Happiness is literally the joy you feel in the pursuit of your destiny. Make your life meaningful! Strive everyday to reach your potential.
This year, I finally realized that happiness, like Yoga, is not about a destination, it is about the journey.
Joy can be found in the darkest day, you just have to look for it.
I had to get over a lot of my OCD and perfectionist tendencies this year, I had to calm my mind down and learn to breathe again. I learned to find peace in stillness. I learned to look forward to the future with faith and hope. I learned to let go of the past and anything else that no longer served me. I’m learning that genuine happiness is found in the present.
2018 has already been so good to me. I am excited to love harder, think deeper, grow stronger, and become more myself this year.
I hope the same for all you cuties reading this!
xx Chelsey Jade